Hey Coach! How was your weekend?
Did your girls make some amazing plays?
Did you see only a couple show up and try to carry the team?
Did you question continuing to keep coaching?
Coaching is tough and it is truly a calling. This isn't meant for everyone!
If you think you know it all please quit coaching.
Coaching takes the ownership of understanding that you will and you HAVE to continue to grow and continue to show every athlete...EVERY athlete that you come across how to learn and how to grow!
Some questions I would like to ask you with my 23 years experience of coaching.
Why did you start coaching? If you answered because you know more than others...BYE.
When you have a moment to speak with the other coaches you coach with do you speak light into them or do you speak negativity about each other and then encourage the coaches you coach with to "stir the pot?" If you choose to bring drama or negativity to the team you have been blessed to coach...BYE.
Are you constantly comparing yourself to other coaches in such a negative and degrading way? IE: "I would never do that." "Who do they think they are?" BOTTOM LINE in this cycle of comparison... more like merry-go-round, you can get off at any time! YOU as the coach you were called to be has every opportunity to BE better vs. get worse.
Are you listening, reading or watching content to build a better athlete as you learn to navigate your coaching journey? If you answered no because you don't have time...YOU DO HAVE TIME! You have to be willing to set time aside and protect that time to learn how to keep getting better. If not then how the heck are you building better athletes, how are you even allowed "so to speak" to tell an athlete that you expect them to get better when you aren't??
Why do you keep coaching? If you coach because you don't want to miss out...(INSERT) FOMO: the fear of missing out. This is real! Yes even adults submit to this nasty vibe. I don't know about you but this makes me feel 100% cringy. If you answered yes because you feel like you bring so much to the table and you don't want to miss out....well you may want to re-visit this thought.
By now I have done 1 of 2 things. I have connected to a strong culture of coaches or I have made a handful of you mad. Some may be shaking their head in agreement and some well you haven't even made it this far because your feelings got hurt. Maybe there is a third thing....maybe you are a coach that used to live in FOMO and coach from a no it all platform. Maybe you are here because you want to get better for more that just yourself, maybe you want to get better for your athletes and the coaches you coach with.
Lets talk about feelings. Are you aware of you feelings on your way to the field? What about when you get there. If you don't want to be there....guess what, neither are the girls!
As a coach you do realize that you are at the forefront of teaching female athletes how to navigate their feelings? You do realize that they will copy what you do, right?
Ahhhh, yes lead by example! Yes this even applies to you as the Coach!
If you need help as a coach n how to start implementing this, please let me know! I would love to help you GROW forward!
By now you may be wondering:
Why I started coaching...It was my Senior year of high school and I started realizing that little girls and their families came to my games to watch me pitch and play ball. Shortly after a couple games a local dad reached out and asked if I would be able to start working with his daughter one on one. From there that door that God had made for me to walkthrough opened up and in turn allowed for so many great things to open up. I even started coaching Little League Softball. This all happened before I went on to college 9 hours away from home on an athletic scholarship. I even continued coaching through 17 years of being an ultrasound tech, getting married, having 3 amazing kids and building an amazing life with ups and downs knowing God was with me at all times. I even kept coaching after softball was ut of my wheelhouse competitively due to my genetic clotting disorder.
How do I speak with my coaches...WITH love and humble honesty. Knowing at any moment they know they have FULL permission to call me out if I am out of line. Heck I even told my most recent Coach I coach with I give him permission, even his wife to call me out if I am bringing any negativity to my team of amazing athletes! Help me protect their peace by calling me out on my "negative" degrading moments! Being self-aware is a nonnegotiable task as a Coach! YOU HAVE TO LEARN to allow yourself to do this with GRACE. Learn, love and let it go! I consistently strive to serve my coaches, how can I help them look and BE GREAT!?! Just like I require out of my athletes....be the teammate you want by owning your position to make your teammate look great!
Do I compare myself to other coaches and what they do? In a CONSTRUCTIVE sense yes, in the matter of what I don't want to do like sportsman like conduct plus how they talk to their athletes. Did I ever get caught up in comparison? Yes, every coach every GOOD coach has and you know you are on the other side of it when you can say you did. That's ACCOUNTABILITY anther quality a Good coach...a GREAT coach has to have in order to thrive in their opportunity!
What am I listening to, reading or learning from in order to keep growing as a Coach? Well at this exact moment I am listening to "Jireh" by Elevation Worship & Maverick City/ Album Old Church Basement. This was actually sent to me by one of my colligate pitchers! I woke up today, got my coffee and started my devotion for the day...biggest takeaway from that, The Lord is my refuge no matter what others say or do to me. He will always be there for me! Psalms 9:9-10 Then I had a quality conversation with a brilliant coach in training early this morning...like before 6am. My main focus is how can I help this coach grow?? I am currently reading two books, "75 Hard," "Good to Great," (again) and also just finished listening to Mel Robins new book on Audible , "The High 5 Habit." Content I dig into is a lot of Sue Enquist's coaching content. I get this in in the morning!! Its a nonactionable for me! Helps me stay in my lane and only come out to help others be GREAT!
Why an I still coaching? Because after 23 years of doing it and continuing doing it through every nook and cranny of my life, it is what I was truly called to do. Being able to help a female athlete understand her greatness vs thinking she will never amount to the worlds standards. This is my mission to help each girl who comes into my coaching journey! To Own Their Opportunity TO DO Great THINGS! To Own their GREATNESS while feeding their STRENGTH!
Inclosing I want to say Coach to Coach, how much I appreciate YOU as the coach who is willing to keep learning and understand each athletes capability as you ALLOW yourself to understand yours!
Be Blessed!
<3 Coach Kally V.